We all want to be around light, become light. But, and sometimes that is a “big but”, we become afraid to shine. “The darkness of the world I fear.” And then we say, we ask – “Lord, with me abide.”
Today, is about faith and choosing it. When it’s gone and you’ve used up all that was on your shelf or in your lamp – you simply must choose to keep it (though it feels completely gone). Choose Him, choosing faith, knowing he is still there.
If I am honest – I almost quit. Quit walking, quit doing, quit seeing. I wanted to hide. My website was so close to completion, and I wanted to walk away. I was telling myself in my mind that I couldn’t do this. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want too, anymore. I didn’t have what it takes.
I found the fear too consuming in a world full of hate it seemed and judgment. Judgment of people trying to do good, to speak good. I was at a loss for words. It’s why I do avoid the internet. But was I to step away completely so my soul didn’t see the pain of the world.
Victor Hugo said, “Those who do not weep, do not see!”
The world had me weeping and I didn’t want to see any more. I thought of my people, they were some of the ones that fought wars for us.
Like Elwin Hart. He wrote a book in his later years, a memoir, titled “Did I Do Enough?” He’s gone now, passed away before Covid. He was in his nineties. Elwin came to all my classes for as long as he could. He would tell me how great I was as a teacher and a person. Elwin and Leonard (Loflin) would banter and make us all laugh through class. Leonard is gone now, too.
Leonard and I had a standing date to visit once a week during Covid. He liked my laugh, and we laughed a lot together. During classes we all laughed a lot. Leonard believed that we couldn’t stop laughing, that it’s what keeps us alive.
I will never forget finding Leonard on the floor, having to call 911. He was in his nineties.
Eventually, Leonard recovered enough to come back and started living on the assisted living side of things. He had to stop driving and that was hard to see because he loved getting away so much. I always parked my car by his.
Leo (Theonnes) and Leonard were best of friends and Leo checked on him every day. Earlier, when Leo had to move to the assisted living side Leonard checked on him every day. Now, they were back together on the same side with even more of their friends. It was with a sad heart that Leo told me that Leonard didn’t remember me anymore.
It was okay I told him, “I won’t forget him!“ I would visit him anyway. Leonard knew that he knew me somehow but just could not remember how. And he still came to all my classes over there for as long as he could.
Leo is still here; he will be 103 in August. He’s still walking (with a walker) morning, noon and night, and tells people he is the “luckiest” man alive.
Leo, Leonard and Elwin were my friends. They all served in WWII. A very serious war that they all survived from, leaving friends (brothers) on the battlefield. They kept walking, doing and laughing through life, just so grateful and happy. Counting their blessings and feeling so lucky to still be alive.
Today I am reminded about how lucky I am. How grateful I am to still be here. And today I thank them for their service. For their sacrifices and for the example of how to stay positive and alive. They showed me how to keep walking through grief and sorrow, still smiling, still rising and welcoming each new day with a cheerful smile. I had the chance of feeling hope while in their presence. I miss it. I miss them!
This first post is dedicated to them and to all our veterans. We need and must remember them all. The fights they fought so we could have Freedom. I do hope and pray that their spirits continue to lift me in this endeavor, to keep hope alive and publish some peace.
Be of Good Cheer,
Debbie
